so here i am...at work...wasting an hour of my life because one of my massage clients cancelled last minute.  she had a valid reason, but still...i guess i should just start checking the phone messages from home to avoid things like this.  yesterday one person cancelled and another just didn't show up, which was very out of character.  anyways, it's very discouraging because i'm trying to build up more clients and work less as a chiropractic assistant. 

who doesn't want a massage?  why would anyone miss their appointment?  these are the questions that keep me up at night.

so obviously keeping up with xanga has not been high on my priority list...or many other people's...but i thought i would.

Josh finished his master's degree, which is beyond words exciting because now i can actually hang out with him again!!!  no more homework!  no more classes!  well, actually, he is taking 12 more credits, but nothing crazy full time like before.

my sister is having baby #3 sometime in the beginning of june.  it's a boy!  i can't wait to meet him.

it's a perfect rainy day.  fabulous for sleeping in (and i did!) and reading (which i will do) and sitting by a fire (which i can't do). 

that's about it.

I am so unmotivated today.  I don't feel like doing anything...so here I sit, wasting time...

Last Saturday I went to Princeton with Josh and a few friends.  We went on the campus of the prestigious ivy league school - what exactly does "ivy league" mean anyways? 

Every building was covered in ivy, but does that mean everyone is smart.  Does the ivy plant mean wisdom in any culture?  Anyways, we ventured into the chapel and it was amazing, or at least I thought so. 

I found it ironic that such a place could be described as both a "hollow shell"
with a cold stone structure and eerie light coming through the ornate stained glass windows; and "holy" because as soon as you walked in, an attitude of awe was silently demanded. 

Everyone was compelled to whisper and soak in the beauty, silence, or sit to reflect and pray.  Isn't it funny that most ornate chapels and cathedrals do not spread the light of the world, but compell you to reverence....and most bible teaching churches share Jesus, but do not command the same type of respect when you walk through the doors.  I am speaking only of the building...which doesn't matter at all, of course.  And maybe that's just it - I feel like I need to be quiet in stony cathedrals because they are looking at your behavior, compliance, perfection.  Bible chruches are more concerned with issues of the heart.  Or maybe I've spent far too long thinking about this. 

Today my parents called me at work to let me know that my grandfather had a heart attack last night and is at the hospital awaiting open heart surgery sometime later this week.  I'm glad the doctor I work for was with his last patient and no one was in the waiting room because I totally lost it.  Sometimes I forget that my grandparents aren't going to live forever.  I'm thankful to know that if God chooses to take him home, he will definitely be in Heaven, so that's comforting.  I know he will probably make it through the surgery fine...but it's still scary and just reminds me how much of a vapor this life really is.  What a blessing to know that we were not created for this world and that our time on earth is just a moment in comparison to eternity with God...without pain, suffering, sorrow, dysfunction, and death. 

Please pray for me and my family during this time.